Every time I try to forget and move on, I completely fall apart. Then I fall apart some more at the thought of being so pathetic and feeling like this about someone who doesn’t feel anything for me at all anymore. The hardest part is not saying anything, I think I’d feel 100x better if I just said what I feel and then I could let it go, maybe. Wish I wasn’t so terrified that it would be a mistake. Just want this to go away now. Time most definitely does not heal.
it’s fucking ridiculous to give someone news like that over the phone.
I just don’t know what the right thing to say is anymore. To myself, or to anyone else. I’m too scared to make the wrong decisions to make any decisions and I’m too scared to say the wrong thing to say anything. All I want to do is scream how I feel and scream it until it’s out of my system-until I know what to do about how I feel. I wish this frustration was directed at one thing in particular, some days it is, but most days it’s everything and everyone.
so angry today :(
- (via psych-facts)
I like to think that I can handle most things but I’m probably the most sensitive person, it’s a real problem. I feel so weird at the moment, like I’m trying to fill a space but nothing’s quite working. Time to face facts and actually learn to be okay with being alone and become content with my own company like I used to. Despise ‘needing’ people, makes me feel like I have no control over myself.